You know. The one in WALL-E after EVE reboots the title character and he starts behaving like he's never met her or anyone else? That was my weekend with Riley.

Let's back up. Two weekends ago, I got the great idea to get rid of a bunch of bloatware (Firefox's spell-check doesn't flag bloatware. Awesome.) that I never use. Things like an updater for a broken printer and Norton Anti-Virus. Norton worked well enough while I was subscribed to it, but my subscription was up and I wanted to go with a freeware alternative. Long story short, one does not simply remove Norton Anti-Virus. If you try, there's a good chance you'll screw up your computer. I wish I knew that two weeks and a fairly large sum of money ago. In order to unscrew my computer, Windows had to be re-installed. That wiped my C drive down to factory settings (oddly enough my D drive was fine). Longer story short, that's not as bad as it sounds (most of my music and such is backed up), but I did lose all of my Windows preferences and my Firefox bookmarks. The whole thing was very weird. It was like an old friend had gotten a bump of the head and forgot who I was and where we used to hang out.

I'm re-building the relationship, bigger and better than ever. First, thing was first: my friend needed a name. I decided on Riley as "Riley" is the name I gave my Lucario in Pearl (I named it after the person who gives the Riolu egg). My computer has little to do with Pokémon; I just like the name.

I'm trying to make a safer computer as well. I really want to install AVG, but Norton is still there and it infers with AVG. I can uninstall it, but medium length story short I have to call Norton to do it. Annoying.


I'll probably be offline for a bit. Have a Happy Thaksgiving! I'm thankful for my wonderful girlfriend, my great friends, and my job.

No, I'm not talking about Butt Castle. I'm talking about that Reebok commercial though Butt Castle might be a good name for it.

I've seen this ad on TV though I feel like I should be in an individual booth while watching it.



I've yet to see this one on TV though according to the comments it has aired. Maybe it's because I live in the Midwest and people have/will complain. Maybe it's because I'm getting old and am not up when the 1-900 lines are advertised.

( Cut for overly-callipygian YouTube freeze frame. Then again, there's almost nowhere in that commercial for a work-safe freeze. )

Seriously, those commercials are one half-assed dub job away from a phone sex commercial for sneaker fetishists.

ETA: On a lighter, more life affirming note, here are some buts from Phineas and Ferb (no, not the Squirrels in my Pants song).



It makes sense in context.

A Wednesday on Wednesday Comics. No spoilers.

Batman: Gorgeous art, but the story lost me around #8.

Kamandi: A great tale all the way through.

Superman: The parts with the alien punching were great. The brooding, not so much. Well, the brooding with Batman was funny.

Deadman: A good story with a character I don't really follow.

Green Lantern: Silver Age fun.

Metamorpho: The periodic table trap and the fake kids' letters were genius. Between this and Coraline, I'm jumping on the Neil Gaiman train.

Teen Titans: Hit or miss. The art was great the entire way through.

Strange Adventures: Meh. Entertaining enough.

Supergirl: Happy that Amanda Conner got to draw Kara again. The Super-pets story was ridiculously cute.

Metal Men: See Strange Adventures.

Wonder Woman: I think I whined about this before, but what the heck were they thinking with the formatting? If I had the patience to grab a magnifying glass and try to figure out how to follow the panel, it might be worth it. I don't.

Sgt. Rock: See Metal Men.

Flash: What the? Enjoyable in a They Might Be Giants way. Just enjoy the ride and don't worry about the details.

The Demon and Catwoman: Could have used a bit more Catwoman.

Hawkman: This is how Hawkman should be written. Over the top badass. How else do you make a hairy guy with wings and a mace relevant?

This one is going to be divided in two. The next edition will be books I want to comment on more than the ones in this entry. It's not that these books are bad or that I have that much more to say about the others, but it works this way.

( Spoilers and Chocos under the cut )

Seriously?



I'm torn here. On one hand, there's some serious male gaze (warning: TV Tropes link. It is dangerous to go alone. Take this.) going on and it might be the most offensive and blatant ad on TV now that that vote for Issue 3 and go to Hell commercial is off the air. On the other hand, the offensiveness level is so high it wraps around and becomes entertaining on some level. Also *drool*.

From an advertising standpoint, it did get me and probably a boatload of other people to talk about Reebok for the first time in forever. But (lol) who is the ad aimed at? They're using a sexy woman and sex to market a shoe to women. Huh? Woe to any guy stupid enough to stick the shoes under the Christmas tree unsolicited for his sweetie (I suppose they would burn a lot of calories crammed up one's ass)? I also forgot the name of the shoe within 30 seconds of watching the ad and was only able to find it by googling "Reebok butt shoe" (I'm going to have some odd visitors to my lj from people googling the same phrase, aren't I?).

From a runner's standpoint, I'd have to look at the shoe up close but (lol) it sounds like a recipe for completely screwing up one's stride, shins, ankles, and lower back. There's a reason Olympic runners don't hit the track in high heels.


Incidentally, the most offensive and blatant ad on TV before Reebok girl and casinos=Satan was the Schick razor commercial with the bushes changing shape as women walked by. What do women and razors have to do with bus...oh, I see what you did there.

While on my ABBA binge, I sidetracked into They Might Be Giants. If you haven't listened to TMBG since their Istanbul/Birdhouse in Your Soul days or you only know of them thanks to Tiny Toon Adventures--that was my first exposure--then you might be surprised to hear their newer stuff. From their fourth album, John Henry released in 1994, onwards TMBG expanded from two guys and a drum machine to a full rock band. They have always rocked (check out Don't Let's Start from their self-titled first album), but their newer stuff has just gotten better. Check out The Mesopotamians from their most recent CDs, The Else, which is their elventh and twelfth.



I swear they write their songs by opening random wikipedia pages (or encyclopedias in the old days), spinning around in circles until they get dizzy, then grabbing a guitar.

Here's I'm Impressed. Hope you like your nightmare fuel extra rich:



Finally, I found a fan video for Turn Around which is actually pretty good. Finding good fan videos on YouTube is like finding intelligent comments on YouTube*--rare. Enjoy!




*Did you see the wank in the Istanbul comments (second hyperlink). I understand where people are coming from and there is a lot of wrong information about the Near/Middle East--Istanbul is a modern city next to a river and near seas, not in a desert--but really? Yelling about a kid's cartoon from 15 years ago? And idiots who are being dicks and yelling louder, you aren't helping. Sheesh.

A while back I went on an ABBA binge, shared a few ABBA songs, and changed the name of my journal. I regret nothing. In fact, have some more ABBA. Come on, Take a Chance on Me! Mama Mia, anyone? Maybe you want something different to mope to:




People used to dress like that sans irony. Wow. Though after a few beers, I might be talked into white overalls and matching moon boots...

For the record, I prefer Meryl Streep's version of The Winner Takes It All.



The best part of that clip? Pierce Brosnan not singing.


New Title! Phineas and Ferb is a show on the Disney Channel targeted towards kids. It also has a sense of humor adults can enjoy. I don't mean fan service or dirty jokes that slip under the radar, but rather intelligent writing ("Classical music [is] very romantic."), allusions to things kids probably wouldn't get like Star Wars ("That's no cloud. It's a space station."), and rapid fire lampshade hanging and 4th wall tapping. It also features some of the most ear-wormy music ever.



Title: There's squirrels in my pants!
Subtitle: Wow. She had actual squirrels in her pants.
Friends' page: Oh, there you are Perry.

On Election Night, Ohio passed Issue 3 allowing casinos in four cities including Cincinnati. I hate to say it, but I think the anti-3-ers had a point. It's only been two days, but check out this video I shot on my cell phone downtown today.



Other than damning our collective souls to hell, things went very well on Tuesday. Most of my candidates won and all of the issues went my way. I was very proud that in this economy, Cincinnatians were willing to vote for slightly higher taxes in exchange for funding good uses of government services such schools and support for museums. I'm still very proud.

It's an off-year election here in Cincinnati, so none of the major headline grabbers (Congress-peeps, Governor, President) are up; however, thanks to the bad economy, we have a full ballot (I heard 4 pages, front and back) to vote on as different organizations come to us voters asking for money. The ballot issue getting the most attention is Issue 3. Ohio's constitution forbids gambling. Issue 3 would allow for four casinos to be built around the state in Cincinnati, Columbus, Cleveland, and Toledo. One third of those casinos revenues would go to the state.

The loudest voices pro-Issue 3 side are the guy who wants to build and own the casinos, who already owns a few casinos outside of Ohio, and a bunch of other people who for various reasons (usually because they want the tax revenue) support the casino plan, like the Fraternal Order of Police. Their commercials have focused on the money the state could be making with casinos, the jobs that would be created, and the fact that Ohioans are gambling anyway, just in other states.






Those against Issue 3 tend to be the people who own the out of state casinos Ohioans are going to and presumably would go to less with casinos in-state and churches. Their arguments can be boiled down to "we like your money" and "ThE MAsTeRGod would not approve." Those aren't winning arguments, especially when faced with the bad economy and the prospects of new jobs and money, so at first they focused on the fact that the jobs created wouldn't necessary go to Ohioans and the possibility of more crime/addiction/bad things. Then, things got weird. Check out this ad:



Worst Heartless design, ever.

The craziest anti-3 ad I've seen is so out there I'd almost guess it was a pro-3 ad designed to make the anti-3ers look insane, but I think it is real. Unfortunately, it isn't online. You can see clips within this news report and a full description here. The short version is casinos will destroy Ohio's society even more than gay marriage. A school bus is seen ablaze, a dude holds a half-empty Jose Cuervo bottle over a woman's head, a gun is pointed at the camera, and Satan makes a cameo. Really. The good news is some Issue 3 opponents have called this for what it is: silly and counter-productive. The awesome news is that it has been playing on regular rotation on TV. It's one of the best things on TV this season.

While I'm on the subject of things I just can't buy it bugs me that in the Harry Potter-verse a wizard is practically defenseless without a wand. I can kinda understand the logic: the wand focuses the innate magic of the wizard kinda like a Green Lantern's ring focuses his or her will power. Still though, casting a disarming charm isn't that hard. Fourth years can do it. Shouldn't wizards be able to create weak shields long enough to get across the room to grab their wands in case a fourteen year old picks a fight? Or be able to use a wandless summoning charm to get the wand back or to summon something heavy into the back of their assailant's head? It's not like it's unprecedented for wizards to do wandless magic in the universe. Harry made a glass disappear by accident. Neville bounced like a ball when he was thrown off a roof. Wouldn't some wizard figure this out by Harry's day and age?

Incidentally, I think there is no reason that a person worthy enough to receive a GL ring with enough training shouldn't be able to focus and expel his or her will power as a weapon. It wouldn't be as powerful as a ring blast, but strong enough to knock people over.

I can buy that you can create your own universe in your kitchen. I can buy that there's another Devin out there lift boulders with one hand who has excellent boobs. However, I just can't buy that as you approach the speed of light, you look really slow. No. N-n-n-n-no. Years of comic books and simple experience belie it.



It bugs me that someone moving slower than me (say in a Buick straddling two lanes on I-71 or walking in a phalanx in the mall) could actually be moving much faster.

I know that that has been accepted in physics for 50+ years and I know that they have done experiments proving it, but it still bugs me. I trust Geoff Johns more than Albert Einstein here.

Have you send your postcard yet? Do you know what I'm talking about? If not, read here.

( Spoilers and nok klek under the cut )

A 50 year old woman from Israel accidentally joined my local Unitarian Universalist young adults' group's e-mail listserv (long story). Here is her first and last post.

( Madness? THIS. IS. RECYCLED CLINTON-ERA SPAAAAAAAAAAAM! (Kosher) )

I got to drop the banhammer on her. It was my first time (UUs aren't the roudiest bunch in the world and our little circle and gets along very well), not gonna lie, it gave me a tingly feeling in my pants.

Above my waist I was pleased as well. Maybe it's just me being tired now or knowing how tired I will be in six hours, but that tickles me. Maybe it's the fact that this was clearly written when Bill Clinton was president and the sender was too lazy/ignorant to run a quick find and replace function to change all of the "Clintons" to "Obamas." I don't know. Whatever it is, I'm half-tempted to MST3K this thing line by line, but it is way too late.... Okay, maybe one line:

Our Almighty GOD of Israel told me
He called me collect, the bastard.

and confirmed to me that clinton is the last satan,
Bill Clinton IS The Last Satan. Coming to a delusion near you.

possessed, in the world in the last days;
Billy Mays: ACT NOW. SUPPLIES ARE RUNNING LOW.

and, clinton commits fornication with his daughter;
Socks has a very full schedule.

their mouths are full of blasphemy and dirtiness.
...and I'll look down and whisper "No."

Disney bought Marvel. So yeah.

DC is restructuring and changing their brass. So yeah. No funny comics for that one. Maybe it's a bit too esoteric.

Matt Sturges, who writes a bunch of great stuff including Run!, Justice Society, and Blue Beetle (I've yet to try Jack of Fables. I'm easing into the Fables-verse.) has a great interview up over here. He sounds like good people and he and the interviewers have a great back in forth on issues such as how to write a bilingual character without making the character sound like an idiot. What the hell, Eddie Berganza? The scary part is he edits Jaime on a regular basis in Teen Titans. The terrifying part is he's bilingual. Is that how his mind works? Hell, does he talk like that? Even if it does and he does, it looks dumb on paper.

( Spoilers and hybrids under the cut )

Fair warning: anyone pedaling Mayan calendar BS around me* will have a printout of this Dinosaur Comics stapled his or her skull. Just sayin'.

Thanks, Dinosaur Comics, for the shorthand.

( Spoilers and FLESH under the cut )



*That includes online. I will surf on wifi waves like the goddamn Atom**.
**I know the Atom can't do that, but there's nothing scary about threatening to go Air Wave or The Ray on someone. Yeah, go look them up on Wikipedia. I'll wait. Besides, the Atom should be able to do that. Science that shit*** up, Choi.
*** ****What's with all the swearing?
****And all the damn*** asterisks?*****
*****Did I just create an infinite loop? Oh shi-***

ABBA is pretty catchy:

Title: Thank you for the music
Subtitle: Dot dot dot
Friends' page: Lay all your love on me

LOL, flipper dance.


That's about all I have today. Sorry. Enjoy this nice bit of epic fail from the original Deathstalker movie then check out the MST3K'd sequel. Required watching for any MST3Kie or RenFairer in my opinion.

So that great place my girlfriend and I found? It didn't work out. So yeah...


In other news Torterra Earthquaked the hell out of Cynthia's Lucario (one punch!) and now I'm Sinnoh's Pokémon Champion. Whoo. I know there's a whole side game past the "ending," but I'm ready to move onto something else. Plus, I'm going to wind up doing the side game when I eventually pick up Platinum.

What's next? I think Final Fantasy III for DS. When is Kingdom Hearts 179 (I reduce my fractions) coming out again? Late September? Meh, I always wait at least a few months, if not a few years, before buying "new" games anyway. The costs go down and the bugs are found.

I needed a little more leveling than I thought, but I beat Final Fantasy XII this morning. As with all Final Fantasies, I need another playthrough to fully appreciate it, but XII is tentatively my favorite in the series. I love pretty much everything about it: the fleshed out and memorable characters, the epic music and story, the immersive, imaginative worlds, the fact that they didn't shoehorn in a love story. Even the game long sidequest, the hunts, were enjoyable and useful. Instead of just cutting down everything that moves in order to gain levels, one could undertake a hunt, have a reason for the bloodshed, and level up as well.

Thank you, Square-Enix, for making the cut scenes skippable. If I had to watch the full scenes whenever I tried to fight the final battle series, I would have lost it.


LINK TIME!

-Yeah, I've had that happen.

-What happened to seanmonster? He was doing the hilarious SideQuests webcomic. He used to have a website just for it, then he moved it to his lj, now the journal is gone.

-Peter Sagal gets pwned on Twitter. Remember kids, anyone can see your Twitter feed.

-I wish I had witnessed this and had a camera on hand. Best macro, ever.

Maybe, he's just a Street Fighter II fan...



While searching for that, I found porn.



-Did I link this Dinosaur Comics before? Oh well, it's worth a second look. Dinosaur Comics meets Bruce Wayne.

-What Superman should have said to Hal in Gay for Justice.


Pick up update: .54

Total: 4.54

So the big news that I teased in this tweet (which was my 1,000th by the way)? I'm moving. My girlfriend and I found a...that's right. We're moving in together. Sure, we've been dating a relatively short time, about seven months, but it's just the right time on so many different levels. We found this cute two family home five minutes up the street from where we both work which has a grocery and a drug store right across the street from it, so its very nicely located. The rent is reasonable. There's a good-sized living room and deck so we can have people over, finally. We don't have to work out the logistics of who needs to pack what to sleep over and whose tampons/boxer shorts get stored where anymore. And, oh yeah, I get to spend even more time with the woman I'm crazy about.

We meet with the landlord to sign the lease and get the keys tomorrow. Our current leases are up in September, which gives us a whole month to move/decorate/argue about where my boxes of comics are going. Cincinnati people, you may be pressed into service, but there will be beer and pizza in exchange. We're fair like that. What do you think we are? British?


At some point in the relatively near future, expect a link dump post. It's been awhile. Will you be content with a weekend dump? This weekend, I've decided that I will beat Final Fantasy XII finally. I think I'm about six hours of gameplay away and that includes re-learning how to work the gambit system and remembering which spells are actually useful (using Brave on a caster is silly, right?). I might try to knock out Pokémon Diamond as well, but we'll see. I'm at the Elite Four, but I need to level just a bit more. The problem is, all the people you can rematch with are either to low leveled to get worthwhile EXP or too high leveled to beat (wait 'til my Heracross learns Megahorn you Psychic bastards. Oh, right. Fighting type.). There's always the old standby of beating the few couple of Elite Four members over and over plus beating up on wild Pokémon on Victory Road, but that gets a bit boring.

People want to be social with me and I might do a little bit of that too, but I really feel like just hanging out at home. My next couple of weekends are going to be full of driving, dust, and possibly dead mice (do I mean that there is a possibly of finding dead mice or that mice are a certainty, but their mortality is in question? Ah, the vaguegueries of langugage.) and I wouldn't mind just sitting and relaxing for a long time.